Like most people, I was totally blown away by the trailer for the long-awaited live-action Beauty and the Beast . But given that it’s so incredibly similar to the original, it also made me crave watching the beloved 1991 version, which I haven’t seen in full in years. As a kid, I was totally sucked into its world of love and magic. But, umm, I also had a few questions that didn’t occur to me when I was little, like:
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1.OK, right off-bat, why is the prince the one that opens the door to this crooked old lady? Doesn’t he have a butler or something? And where are his parents? Why is like a 7 year old kid running an entire castle alone? No wonder he’s so salty and has such deep-seated abandonment issues.
2. When Belle sings that everything’s the same « since the morning that we came to this poor provincial town, » does that imply they moved to the village from somewhere else?
3. If Belle likes books so much, why does she let this sheep devour her favorite novel?
4. Are they triplets? And why do like look like mermaids?
5. What ever happened to Belle’s mom?
6. Even as a kid, I found the fact that the dad picks the scary path over the sunlit one baffling. Though, to be fair, this is pretty much how I make all of my decisions in my love life.
7. If they live in France, why are Lumiere and his duster ladyfriend the only ones with French accents? Why is Mrs. Potts British? I can’t even tell what accent the stove has.
8. Is Chip’s real name Chip? Or did he get that as a nickname after he became a chipped cup.
9. If Gaston is so rich, why can’t he afford socks without holes in the toe?
10. What is this thing? It’s absolutely terrifying.
11. Does Gaston own this pub? Because the decor certainly seems very him.
12. This magic mirror thing seems a bit creepy. Where’d he get it? How often does he use it? And, for what ?
13. If Chip has to go back into the cupboard with his « brothers and sisters, » how many kids does Mrs. Potts have? And where is Mr. Potts?
14. Why doesn’t Belle actually get to eat anything during « Be Our Guest »? Girlfriend hasn’t eaten all day and all she gets is a lick of grey stuff and a maraschino cherry.
15. Is the beast part-animal? Should he be able to speak wolf? Or is he just, like, super hairy?
16. Where did they get all of these dresses that are the same exact cut but in a different color?
17. Are they literally just eating sugar and cream? I know there hasn’t been a lot of time for grocery shopping but that is one sad breakfast.
18. Why doesn’t the Beast know how to use a spoon? He was human and like, a prince, so his table manners should be on point.
19. Is it just me or does Gaston look like he’s always wearing dishwashing gloves?
20. LOL I always laugh when she cries « Beast! » because that just does not seem like the right way to address your bae but for real what is his actual name? A CD-ROM game said it’s Adam but for some reason it’s not mentioned in the film.
21. Most importantly, do Mrs. Potts and Belle’s dad get together in the end? Because they vibing.